I have shared openly in my posts that one of the major drives for me to preserve my past by writing my personal stories is the loss of my parents when I was in my late teens in the late 80s early 90s, and as you can imagine, like all of us, there have been many other friends and family members lost throughout the years since.

One universal tool for working through grief is through sharing stories. Whether we are collecting pictures in preparation for memorial services or gathering information to include in the obituary, we begin the formal process of grief with our close loved ones immersing ourselves in stories. Then as we begin a more public grieving process others are now drawn to share their stories. These are common ways we use story as a way to remember and honor our lost friend or loved one. By sharing our loved one’s story, we are ensuring their legacy lives on

According to The Center for Loss and Bereavement, “Storytelling is essentially an exercise of meaning making. This is the process by which the mourner explores what has been lost, how life will be different, and how to survive and reinvest in life.’

Once these initial standard step-stones are complete, there is often a yearning to hold on to the stories and continue the process. Here are several ways you could gather with friends or family to more intentionally write out your stories of your lost loved one:

Option one is to all gather and write out your own individual stories. Here each person can contemplate special memories or lessons learned and write out their own unique story. These stories can then be shared aloud giving time for conversation and connection. Ultimately each story could be brought into a collection that would be copied for each participant.
Another option would be to choose a favorite moment, characteristic or memory that was shared by the group and have each person write about it from their own viewpoint. It is quite amazing to see how differently we all experience the same moments and events, and it is quite enriching to share these diverse experiences with each other. The stories could then be shared aloud and gathered in a collection for all to share.
And finally, I bring you back to one of the first steps in the Preserve Your Past WRiting Process and that is to consider your intention and audience. Stories are also beautiful gifts we can give to the cherished loved ones of someone who has passed, like the children, parents, or partner. In this option, the group gathers, but the stories are written with the intention of gifting them to the bereaved.
For example, several years ago, my mom friends who I warmly refer to as the baseball moms, lost 2 of our most cherished friends to cancer within the year. Both women left too soon and both left a husband and young children. What a gift it would be to gather a group of friends and share special memories and funny stories - well at least the appropriate ones! This is a great way for friends or family to come together, but also supports the significant family member. What I would have given for a collection of memories of my mom and dad from the friends who knew them well!

If this is something you would love to schedule with a group of family and friends and would like my support throughout the process. Please check out my “Story Writing Support” Packages here. If you are local we could even discuss in person options.

Helping your group work through the process of writing and grief would be an honor for me.

Don’t let those stories be lost! Let me help you “Preserve Your Past!” and “Write Your Stories!”